I’m thinking too big picture and it’s paralyzing me, analyzing every angle
till the drive to write is gone. Books and authors line the shelves,
so many out of print, too old, unpopular or otherwise, lines and lines
of plot and dialogue better than what i can think up at this point,
never to be read again.
Losing motivation is the easy part, a part of me always talking down
and planting seeds of insecurity, convincingly making a case
to stop trying altogether. Settle for the stable position,
don’t give into the admission that there’s just a lot of room to grow,
and that these things take time, failure, trial, error, and persistence.
Insist on the existence of your own talent, don’t let your passions and
inspirations go unnoticed.
The threat of obsolescence will teach lessons in the future,
but their impact will be lessened, maybe even nonexistent
if you let yourself change courses before even taking the first step.
We’ve been given gifts, affinities; inclinations and natural abilities,
influences that carve out our path before we grab the shovel ourselves
and start the real leg-work. And if we treat those initial blessings
with the weight and significance they deserve, they’ll serve a purpose
too great to be stifled by a fleeting, false sense of inadequacy.
There will be plenty of time to fine-tune and re-route later in the journey,
but for me, it makes more sense to get moving first. Daunting
as it may be, it’s the act of moving forward in the face of insecurity
that frees us to make the mistakes necessary to learn, grow,
and achieve the things that simply defied belief
back at our starting point.